groups

So everyone is afraid to take the 'real' plunge and separate of from the pack for themselves.
Neizsche said 'we go to others for what we lack in ourselves' and he was totally right - literally
you might see a pair of 'friends' together: one is in mostly black clothing (representing near complete mental separation) but has short hair and the other is in mostly light clothing (suggesting simple subordination to social ideals) but has long hair.
so the guy in long hair is only keeping company with the guy with long hair as he is missing that element himself - this is to some degree a subconscious tie.

In fact so petrified are the majority of people of acting entirely for themselves that they will cling on to social convention in most every situation. specifically in attracting others i find people exceptionally dull in this regard - they will do everything but act for themselves.
using social devices at every turn: looking important on a mobile phone, associating with cultural groups, performing.

in fact, in leau of direct action, everybody seems to only draw attention to themselves as significant in some sort of way that is usually quite transparent.

ahhhh fuck it

artifice

well
im stuck on this planet with these other people
and this whole scenario with its simple behavioural mechanisms, inescapably

so, some grievances:

as a male i hate nothing more than makeup and jewellery or any accessory that attempts to add to your basic physical form, but only contrives some identity which is unattainable and never static

in the case of makeup, i can't settle on a face with cosmetics
my eyes literally cant relax on it. and i reel away.
i cant feel comfortable with cosmetics

jewellery is meaningless. your decoration is your face and body
rings for marriage are meannigless as they are religious symbols.

men cutting their hair is subordination to ideals which are not absolutes and exist only in the subjective mind.

About me

30 yr old male
dress in black
long hair
full beard
slim
tall
glasses >:[ (cheap hipster knock-offs)

uni ed in philosophy
some shit jobs
tried working/living abroad
eventually couldnt focus around groups of people
started getting overwhelmed by patterns of behaviour
stopped working
homeless
recieved housing from the state
went mad
now still living off the state and hoping for a more secluded place to live